Alcazar & Same Difference for UK 2011?

Straighteurovision understands that the beeb has contacted both Alcazar and Same Difference to perform in Dusseldorf this May.



Personally if this does turn out to be true, its probably five years too late!! However, you gotta love both bands in their own way. Alcazar for being one of the greatest pop bands of the last decade, and Same difference for growing up on the South Coast...the provence of Great Britain. ;-)

BBC surely unlikely to surprise?!?!

Well goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood mornin!

We are expecting a full eurovision 'making your mind up' lineup on Thursday 7th February from the BBC Headquarters, and Straighteurovision can reveal that us UK fans should not be expecting too much....

Previous rumours included Daz Sampson, Daniel Beddingfield, Dannii Minogue, Same Difference, Futureproof & Booty Luv, and Straighteurovision can confirm that the line-up is likely to be more Z list than C or D list.

Straighteurovision has inside information that Daniel Beddingfield was expected to make the final line-up but has pulled out!

Therefore don't be surprised if we see H from Steps, the girl from S Club 7 who never sang (think Tina was her name), and some unknown boy or girl band.

However, with every cloud.....If the song is good, the artist(s) can sing in tune, they have a credible performance, frankly let it go to Belgrade...not that a good song seems to matter these days! lol

P.s. At least it couldn't be as bad as Brian Harvey's off-key, embarassing effort this time last year



OUCHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Rickys Cabaret Bar

Just time for a shameless plug!

If you ever find yourself in Gran Canaria (in particular Playa Del Ingles) go see Rickys Cabaret Bar.

Camp Camp Camp! Fab!

Outrage in Romania!

Evening All!

So, LaGaylia of MF fame finds herself in the Romanian eurovision selection...How the hell did that happen? Especially as the queen 'Sahlene' was supposed to be singing the song 'Mr Frankenstein'. Hmmmm! Not happy here!

LaGaylia never quite made it to MF final, but her two songs were hits in Sweden....Editors note: Not sure they were hits in Romania though!

Of course Romania are no strangers to ex-MF stars....try the Rednex for example! Below is the LaGaylia song...frankly its pants! Next!



I havent had a chance to comment on the Albanian entry just yet, as we at straighteurovision were too busy enjoying christmas to worry about the albanian selection which is according to Mrs straighteurovision 'a 3-hour long streak of piss'. Delicately put!!!! Anyway, she is right, and as always the finished article is worryingly poor. Its the kind of song which makes you smile at the face you couldn't be bothered to tune in anyway, and laugh at those who did! :-)

For anyone who cares, the live video is below....



BTW its incredibly dated....even more so than the 'ming the mercilous' look-a-like that Albania sent last year....I am still troubled by his sister wailing at us fans at the fan centre last May...things that only nightmares are made of!

Malta have also chosen with an aptly named 'Vodka'. Listen to this load of shite for more than 30 seconds, and you wont be just grabbing for a bottle of Vodka, you will be eyeing up the parafin and matches! Trust me its truly awful. The songwriter was clearly deaf when he wrote this tripe...with any luck this song will send Malta over the edge (no offence Schlagerboys!)



Switzerland who were clearly robbed with DJ Bobo's monumental effort last year (manequins and all) have gone back to the 1980's with their entry.



Actually its OK, just very dated, like the majority of selected songs thusfar!

Czech Republic have decided to 'have some fun'. I like this! Actually ive decided I like her :-)......A lot!



Anyways, more on eurovision hopefuls later.

Over to Belgium, for the most bizarre national final entry so far!

Norway into final stages

Well the first big national final approaches, and in Norway all three semi-finals have been completed with just the 'sista chansen' remaining. I still remember last years Rocket Ride and Dusty Cowshit (either should have gone to eurovision in my opinion - dusty cowshit moreso, especially as they were in Tallin anyway, presumably in case Guri Schanke broke a leg or something!)

Anyway, here are the chosen finalists (with two further winners of sista chansen to be added):


Torstein Sødal - Eastern wind

A power ballad with theatrical similarities. This would not be out of place in the Lion King - Strong, but incredibly dated for eurovision - 6.5/10




King of Trolls - Far away

A far cry from Hall of the Mountain Kings, the trolls perform a cross between a bad Lordi and the Poodles (MF 06). Frankly, this again is quite dated, and whilst you can understand what the trolls have tried to achieve, they have failed miserably! - 4/10




Crash! - Get up

Crash were one of the favourites to win the Norwegen final last year with 'Wannabe', however one year has passed and clearly so has puberty for the boys (and girls) of Crash! This years entry seems to have similarities to Bryan Adams and McFly. This certainly stands out amongst the other finalists. One to watch! 7.5/10




Maria Haukaas Storeng - Hold on, be strong

Another song with slight similarities to other artists; in this case the Sugarbabes. A pop/rnb ballad. This is certainly a front runner. 7/10




Veronica Akselsen - Am I supposed to love again

Bossanova-pop-ballad with slighly French/Latin influences from Veronica; by the way Veronica made the final of MGP last year qualifying through the 'Sista Chansen' round. This entry is good but possibly too sleepy for eurovision, however it certainly has its qualities. 6.5/10




Ann-Marie Anderson - Ándagassii

Tip: If you want to do well in a national final (outside UK) try singing in your native tongue! This clearly works here! Actually this is possibly the best song in the final, and with only Crash! as major competitors, I could see this winning by a clear margin. 8/10

Melodifestivalen Hots Up For 2008!

Hi All

So....first post of 2008....

Give me a chance to get back into the swing of things as I have had an unforseen absence since my last post, but as always as soon as January appears, eurovision and in particular MF starts to hot up...

So MF 2008 will grace us with some of the best known eurovision singers, and established international performers of all time. In my opinion, MF 2008 is by far the best swedish national final yet.......Oh boy its gonna be great!

CAROLA - Winner 1991






CHARLOTTE PERELLI - Eurovision Winner 1999


BWO - 2nd 2006


SANNA NIELSEN - Has been in more MF's than I care to remember - and her boobs get bigger with every entry!


LINDA BENGTZING - Ok so she has never got within an asses roar of eurovision, but she is highly rated in Svenska!


VELVET - My personal favourite, but if you have ever read Straighteurovision, you will know that...


ANDREAS JOHNSON
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My tips :

My Heart says = Velvet
My Head says = Carola & Andreas Johnson

Part 3 Eurovision Legends:

Carrie Grant (born Carrie Gray August 17, 1965) is a British celebrity vocal coach and session singer. She is best known for her work on the television talent contests Fame Academy, Comic Relief does Fame Academy and Pop Idol, together with her husband and colleague David Grant. She is also personal voice coach to many successful pop stars.

Grant has had various roles in the entertainment industry, starting as a dancer on television and moving into presenting for children's television. She was a member of the singing trio Sweet Dreams, who entered the 1983 Eurovision Song Contest with the song "I'm Never Giving Up," which reached number 21 on the UK singles chart and gave them sixth placing in the contest.



Grant later became one of the UK’s top session singers, working with artists such as Diana Ross, Roberta Flack, Rod Stewart, Lighthouse Family, Fatboy Slim and many others.



Carrie and David Grant then collaborated on their highly acclaimed gospel album "Watching and Waiting" which went on to win a MOBO Award as best gospel album for 1997.





This led to further work for Grant as vocal coach and producer, working with some of the UK’s top pop acts including Take That, S Club, and more recently Will Young, Atomic Kitten, Melanie C, Lemar, Charlotte Church and others throughout the US, Europe and the UK. In 2006 she appeared in the four part BBC TV series The Sound of Musicals, which was filmed in 2005. In 2006 (broadcast 2007) she took part in the BBC2 reality series Safari School in which eight celebrities were trained in the skills of game rangers at the Shamwari Game Reserve in South Africa. Grant was the series champion, beating actor Jeremy Sheffield in the final test.

Since 1999 has also presented several BBC schools' radio programmes including, Music Workshop, The Song Tree and Something to Think About.

She is also a prominent member of the National Association for Colitis and Crohn's Disease, as she has had Crohn's Disease since she was twenty.

She and husband David have a daughter, Olivia Grant, who played Alice in series 5 of Tracy Beaker the tv series.

Back in Business!!!

Hi All

After a long break, a house-move, a few sunny holidays, a cold but not so white Christmas, Straighteurovision is back!

Much love to all!

Malta, Sakis, Big Brother & the Rest

Afternoon bloggers.

Hope you all had a fat week! OK so Big Brother has re-entered our sad little lives for another 13 weeks of the year....Im sure its on for much much longer, and didnt the last series finish at Christmas???? Hmmm anyway its reality hell for straighteurovision, because frankly what the fuck else is there to watch?

Tracy has to win based on the fact that at some point during the series (around week 7) she will rip off her wig and fake breasts to reveal an aging, balding man who is training for the annual gurning championships...bless. She/He simply has to win! Oh and add to that the fact she looks like Germany 2003's Lou's younger, more attractive sister!



On to euronews....

I had a message from the fab Schlagerboys recently asking me to join them and unite in euroharmony and to petition Malta not to abandon ship off the eurocruse on destination Belgrade....

We can't have Malta leave us at such a delecate time. What the fuck will the UK do for votes?????

Apart from that Malta can't leave us stranded on our tiny little island with no friends and no dingy! Especially after they have given the world the following:



and this...



not to forget their 2nd place from 2002...



but hmmm we can forget this...



oh and frankly we can dump this in the mediterrean sea to be honest....



But generally Malta have often added fab songs to the euro, and I do agree that if they withdrawn much like Israel will do for 2008 the euro will be short of two countries who can bring so much to eurovision. It is a credit to the contest that they are a part of it, and would be a shame to see them leave...MALTA RELAX, DON'T DO IT....

Its fair to assume that sometime in the next 5 years, Sakis of Greece will take part in eurovision, much like Evridiki, Edsilia, Chiara etc. Sakis will surely take part and unlike the Michael Ball, Samantha Janus and Olivia Newton-John's of this world, would jump at the chance to do it all over again. Mind you, eurovision is much different nowadays, and even UK participants are given a shot of fame after the contest if they are prepared to work at it (e.g. Javine who is a star in London's West End).

Finally Nikki French has recently been performing in Brazil. Yes, Nikki French (29 yrs old in Stockholm) took to Brasil like a duck to water, and im reliably told she is an absolute star in Brazil. She was invited over by Energia FM or something to do a mini-tour...how fab??? It must be nice to be a star in say Brazil as opposed to somewhere like Iceland, especially when they are going to invite you over; all expenses spared sorta thing. Oh and the chance to top up one's tan! Lovely! Nicki had 8000 people turn up for her last gig in Sao Paulo. 8000!!!!! Thats like the whole capacity of the Globen! WOW!

Below is small (poor qty) clip of her tour....



She seems to be lovin it!

Right its hot as hell outside, so time to top up my tan.

See you all soon!

Album of the Month

Afternoon bloggers....

Unlike most other blogs around the world (i.e. sport, music) its a 365 day a year thing, but with eurovision song contest virtually two/three weeks after the contest has finished the news all goes quiet....so whats the answer? Have a long holiday, get back to normal, or maybe pretend you work for the Sport and make up a load of drivel like:

'Serbian singer in three-way love triangle with Dana International and Big Brother's Kemal'.

Hmmmmm Perhaps not!

Talking of Big Brother, Ive often thought maybe its time for Straighteurovision to give big brother a go in aid of fame and fortune, and to plot a possible eurovision 2008 entry????

Again...........perhaps not!

In the meantime lets reflect on a great new eurovision-related album; Mans Zamerlow or whatever, has released 2007's 'Stand By For'. Its basically something Robbie Williams would have distributed about 5 years ago. Seriously, its actually a very credible album from the highly popular Swedish popstar. The only negative is that it is basically a album of covers, which is something which seems to happen a lot nowadays!

Check out the second best track 'Miss America' which was Fredrick Kempe's track recorded on his 2005 album, which he has clearly passed onto Mans.....bless him! Must have been Mans' birthday...(choking!!!!)

The best song is obviously Cara Mia - winner of NFSC 2007 by a clear mile!

The other song of note is 'The Prayer' which has the lyrics 'theres a boy I used to know' in a haunting tale. Is Mans' trying to tell us something secret about his sexuallity or is he simply reminiscing of the man he used to be? Its all a bit cryptic isnt it!

Finally, check out 'Maniac' from the film Flashdance.

If you want to buy the album, then you better google it cause frankly Im not going to give you everything!!!! Im not that generous! Oh you could always LEGALLY download it :-)

In actual eurovision news, yet not too credible, Hugh Grant has said quite candidly that he would consider taking part in eurovision for the UK. Yes, he may consider it, but I might also consider swoping lives with Hugh Grant...It doesn't mean it will actually happen though does it! The guy can't sing, and although he may watch eurovision, its only a throw away comment that the media have taken a little too seriously!

The incredibly nice Mr Bobo who I almost made late for one of his rehearsals, has stated that Serbia was the right song to win eurovision! How very thoughtful of him, especially as he is clearly ready to stake a claim for next year's eurovision. I hear he will offer his services out to various countries!!!! The slut!

The return of Esctoday

Hello all....

After much digesting and conjetating over the eurovision results, it appears that both albania and andorra used juries as their votes. Whats even more interesting is that both juries gave points to three of the big four. OK so the UK didnt get any points, but with Juries I think it would be safe to say all of the big four would have been top 10.

I really think the voting procedure needs to be reviewed. I harped on about going back to only allowing countries to vote who are actually in the final during my eurovision week, and to be honest I think im right on this. Here's why:

1) In the semi final, ex-Russian and ex-Yugoslav states can't vote for their neighbours or ex-pats can't vote for their country of origin....because they are not in the semi themselves...

This is not to isolate the ex-russian and ex-yugoslav states, as it could be agreed that all 10 of the songs qualified deserved to?!?!?!

In the semi and final you have more of an open-field in this case. Picture a situation where an citizen of Georgia (for example) knows of all the russian, ukrainian, belarusian, macedonian, croatian, romanian singers (basically they are all well-known in Georgia)...combine this with loads of ex-pats voting for their country of origin....and let's throw into the mix that the individual also likes the Danish song! What chance does Denmark have of scoring? If they do it will likely only be a maximum of 5 points at best....

If you ensure that countries participating in the semi-final can only vote, then it stops all this nonsense, and potentially results in songs which are UNIVERSALLY preferred to qualify, not singers/songs that are already well-known before the contest...(example TATU)


2) Bring back the jury - but only 50/50

If Svante is hell-bent on ensuring that the voting income is secure, then why not ensure a 50/50 split of jury and televotes. That will ensure that there is a smoother playing field. Often juries are fans, and therefore the neighbourly voting isnt always so prevalent....not always the case, but probably not so much!

Frankly, this is the weaker choice of the two, but it strikes me that you could probably predict that Russia and UKraine will be top 5 again next year, almost 1 year before they choose their song!!!!!! Also, that Macedonia will make the final, and Croatia will either just make it or narrowly miss out! It all frankly sucks, and gives the BIG FOUR or any other western nation vitually no chance!!!!

Why????

Because the western side of europe generally votes for their favourite song without too much bias....Svante has maybe five more years until ALL of the big four pull the plug. This mess must be sorted out, but dont expect a change until at least 2009 (where we enter two semi-finals)

Two semi-finals????

That wont make any bit of difference. You will still see the same country guarantee qualification from the semis, while the countries who should have qualified miss out. How many people felt Andorra were mugged of a place in the final?

Finally, Daz (of Daz Sampson fame) text me to basically rub my nose in it in a kind of 'I told you so...' kind of way. Bring back Daz. I really hope we send him again next year.

By the way, I noticed Jonathon Kind in Helsinki......Lets hope he is not sniffing around the Beeb again!!!! Shock Horror!

Oh and esctoday.com has reappeared as if it had never vanished, in a sort of bermuda triangle sort of way!

Unsubstantial Blues

How crappy is it when you realise there is no more eurovision until Albania decides in December just in time for Christmas? OK so nobody gets excited about the albanian final, but hey at least we know that the season will soon be upon us!

Personally, ive lost eurovision and now the football season, so its really crappy for me!

It now means that when going online there is f**k all to look at!

Most websites and blogs take a few months out to decide what to do with themselves. Straighteurovision has lots of ideas for the future, but have decided to take four or five weeks break and restart in the summer....so please check back now and again. The changes will be fab (in a kind of DQ double dress change fab, and not a aging old norwegen double dress changing kinda way!)

BTW what the ruddy hell has happened to www.esctoday.com?? Its been offline for simply days now, and there is no word on its return!!!

I look forward to see you all very very soon. In the meantime check out the schlagerboys blog! (see my links)

Flying the Flag home with Scooch

So another eurovision finale ends, and it was all sadness sadness sadness all over Helsinki yesterday. For me, frankly, I was glad to get home...I was simply gutted on Saturday evening and am not too sure whether I can take much more euro-humiliation!

Congrats and all that bollox to Serbia; frankly they deserved it, and Ukraine did not! Uk deserved top 5, along with Germany, France and Spain, although I liked Turkey, Bulgaria and Armenia.

So the aftershow party was good, Magdi won the songwriter prize...thoroughly deserved, although Scooch came a close second!



The bulgarian girl (who is smaller than a nat) seemed extatically happy with Bulgaria's best ever result! Rumour has it she wore the same costume all week; to rehearsals, to home and to bed and out again! Dirty cow!



The presenters were seen at the after-show party; their first fan appearance of the week! In my opinion the best presenters of eurovision ever!



What did worry me was this, which some of us found walking down the street...



Not quite sure of the eurovision connection, although it was probably something to do with the Serbian entry.

Finally, talking of Serbia, she was very charming at the press conference, saying she said a little prayer before the contest that she would win only if god wanted her too. She came over well and hopefully Belgrade will be ready for a eurofest next year.



Oh yeh, almost forgot the point of the title. Scooch, the beeb, Paddy O'Connell, Sarah Cawood and the backing dancer/singers were all literally behind me on the plane home. In keeping with their character, Caroline bent down to pick up something she dropped down the isle, and David (the man behind 'anything to suck on for landing?') said in a carry on eurovision moment 'while your down there', to which Caroline replied 'oooh wrong end'.....Magic!!!!!!!!!!

Bless them, they gave away scooch t-shirts, pads, and flags! Straighteurovision didnt ask for one, as we had no-where to stash it to hide the embarassment!

Interestingly, Terry Wogan was suposed to be on the flight but didnt turn up....hope he didnt enjoy his eurovision just a little too much!

So, 2nd bottom and the worst UK eurovision result since Jemini....Bring back Daz!

Serbia Was Absolute Rubbish!!!!

Ok only joking!

It was a superb song and an equally superb vocal! Shame for the UK though, and from the after party Russ was in good spirit, while Caroline seemed very down! Oh its all Jemini again isn't it!

To be fair, the UK did give a performance of an OK song, while following my TXT to mrs straighteurovision after song 14 that Ireland and France were going to do well, I seem to have taken them with me! Oh well at least our neighbours went with us!

The EBU need to look at the voting proceedure, and I would suggest returning to voting from only the countries who have qualified for the final, and a same system in the semis....it's much fairer that way! Serbia would still have won no doubt, but maybe Sweden, Finland, France, Ireland and maybe the UK would have had much more respectable scores....

Talking of respectable scores, Olivia Lewis' blog the other day was all doom and gloom, and one could be accused of suggesting she was close to the edge; well it doesn't get better for Olivia. The news broke out that Malta finished 4th last in the semi, while Austria also only managed 4 points...Switzerland finish 20 out of 28, while Portugal narrowly missed out...thats right Portugal finished 11th...shocker!!

But the voting is neighbourly, or political whatever you want to call it...Croatia (the dire, vomit enducing, elevator music) finished 16th...not because it was any good, because countries like Bosnia, macedonia and serbia all voted for it!

Anyway all in all a great week, but I am not looking forward to Belgrade next year in the slightest. I would have prefered a flight to St Petersberg! Gotta go, am flying later on this evening...hope to see you all soon as I have some aftershow party pics to upload tomorrow.

Finally a word for those who chose to boo during virtually every song last night....MAKE LOVE NOT WAR! Or Alternatively your a bunch of pathetic w##kers!

X

All done!

Right thats it all 24 have been played and if the Uk could vote for ourselves, Scooch would have at least one set of 12 points. As it stands Russia, Belarus, Latvia, Serbia and oh and the UK....lol....

(BTW) the Norwegens to my right conceded the UK song came over well!

Final Dress-rehearsal - Moldova

Watch out for the outfit. It seems to be the talk of the town! Plus the serbian girls got her eye on it, or maybe Natalie Barbu herself! Yikeeesss!

The song is a rock anthem, much like evanescence. Some other rumours had this winning the semi-final...I seriously doubt it, but it could go top 5 and be the big surprise of the night!!! Certainly a top 15!

Final Dress-rehearsal - Armenia

Used tissues, radio-controlled trees and a dark red set describe Armenia. Its also a very good ballad with an excellent draw. This could be the surprise of the night. Possibly creeping into the top 10 for the second year running!
Watch out for the tree suddenly becoming possessed and trying to attack Hayko during his performance...

Im sure they must have pinched those used tissues from malta's Olivia Lewis's dressing room on Thursday evening

Final Dress-rehearsal - Turkey

As 'shake it' appears on the backdrop the show starts, and what a show! Turkey are clearly in a great position to hit europe with a bit of mediteranean r'n'b and pop!

Kenan gives a great show and the overall performance looks particularly polished. This could slide into the top 8, and at this point in the show were thinking potential winner!!?!?!

Final Dress-rehearsal - Bulgaria

Back to the drums. This ouses ethnicity and passion. The wailing only enhances this moody performance. Expect this to go top 12 tonight. Every year something purely ethnic does very well, and I expect Bulgaria to do this.

Final Dress-rehearsal - Romania

This has really dropped in the betting lists. It comes across a bit desperate and as straighteurovision reported it was written in 3 days, it really shows. It gets going towards the end, but by then everyone has lost interest. Prediction 20-24th